


Cap's First Selfie Broke the Internet

by Gamerwitch



Series: Bland Marvel Headcanon Inspired [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: One-Shot, crack!fic, inspired by a prompt found on Pinterest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamerwitch/pseuds/Gamerwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve posted his first selfie, both Instagram and Twitter crashed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cap's First Selfie Broke the Internet

**Author's Note:**

> I was on Pinterest when I found all these Bland Marvel Headcanons, and I thought that some of them were pretty funny and would make good writing prompts for one shots and short stories. So enjoy the weirdness and I hope you enjoy it. It's just meant to be a nice funny fic, not meant to be taken seriously at all.

     He really hadn't meant for it to happen. All Tony had been trying to do was catch Cap up on twenty-first century technology and culture. Seriously, the guy still has problems using the microwave. Tony was just tired of having to fix everything he accidently broke and answering questions every day about what Netflix was and how Michael Jackson was able go from being black to white. So, he had given a Steve a crash course. Really his only mistake was explaining social media.

     He'd started off small and set up a Captain America Facebook page. He should have realized then how bad things would get after Steve got over a million friend requests in less than ten minutes. But he'd ignored the warning signs and decided to keep going with the lessons. Eventually they came to uploading photo's. It was the first step to the world ending.

     Steve posted a picture of the view from his room in the tower, and it was liked over two billion times. Which was about the current number of people on face book at the time. The first time Steve posted one of his drawings, the website wasn't even able to keep track of all the hits it got. Tony should have stopped everything when that happened, but he was too happy that Cap was too busy to keep bugging him.

     It was a Saturday when It happened, and Tony remembers every horrifying moment of the incident. Steve had asked about the camera on the front of the phone and he showed him how to use it. Steve decided to take a photo of himself. It was just a boring photo. Just him in one of the dozens of identical plain white shirts that he owned, smiling at the camera. He mentioned that he was going to post it, but Tony just waved him off and continued eating his lunch.

     Less than twenty minutes later, the world exploded into chaos.

     The selfie had become the most viewed picture on Facebook within two minutes. Within ten, it was reposted onto Twitter. Within eleven, it was all over Instagram. It only took another nine more minutes for the photo to blow up the internet. Literally.

     Tony had just finished off his sandwich and chips when received a call. He ignored it. Five seconds later, he got another, and another, and another. He finally picked up the phone only to have the founder of Twitter screaming bloody murder in his ear. He couldn't even make out what the guy was saying. He hung up only to get a very similar call from the president of Instagram. He turned off his phone entirely just as Pepper came running into the room. She than began yelling at him for all the calls she was getting and talking about something on the news.

     Tired of all the people yelling without explaining, he turned on the T.V. What he saw made him want to make a time machine so he could stop himself from ever teaching Steve anything. It was breaking news on every channel. Cap's selfie had completely crashed both Twitter and Instagram. His selfie had broken them. The servers that Twitter used had actually overheated and melted down. Instagram had to have an emergency shutdown of everything to keep the same thing from happening to them. And apparently both of them were now attempting to sue him for the incident, blaming it on him because he had more money than Steve and because the soldier was technically under his supervision.

     Tony turned off the T.V. before tracking down Cap. He grabbed the laptop right from his hands and deleted his Facebook account and all traces of the deadly selfie. He then ignored Cap's confused questions and went to his room, where he pulled out a bottle of very old whiskey and poured himself a glass.

     He swore to never, under any circumstances, ever teach Steve about anything modern ever again.


End file.
